Dear Future Daughter,
One day you will start dating, and that is exciting! I’m sure by now you’ve seen all the romantic comedies, love, and relationships on the big screen, happy couples on social media and so on. But you also need to know that dating, love, and relationships are not always happy or easy. It takes work for two people to love each other and stay committed through the ups and downs. But, don’t ever allow yourself to be disrespected, hurt verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually. Unfortunately, these hurtful things happen to teenage girls and even women like me.
Please be aware of the red flags and listen to your gut. When I was a teenager my first relationship consisted of all of these hurtful things. Most people ask why you stayed with him for so long, or just leave him already. If it were that simple, I would have left him before it even started. I am going to share with you how and why it got to the point that it did. Now, remember, it’s not ever the victim’s fault, but it does take two to allow these things to happen.
Dating is hard. But it doesn’t have to be abusive and lacks respect. Normally the first signs of a potentially abusive relationship deal with a boy or man toying with your emotions. It can be as simple as complimenting you on one thing but then telling you that, that one thing they complimented on can be better or isn’t as good as it can be. For example, "Your hair looks better down. You should wear it down more. But part it on the other side." He may even touch your hair or make you do as he says to his liking. That is red flag number one. Feelings for someone will make you vulnerable and that’s okay because, in order to love, you have to be willing to open up. But there is a difference when that person starts to insult you when complimenting you so that it seems valid, but it makes you feel insecure and need of changing something about yourself. Yes, it can be as simple as your hair. It may seem innocent at the time, but if this continues, these compliment/insult comments eventually take your sense of security with your style and presence. If this happens, he has gained control of your appearance.
*Open letter series. Follow along as we uncover this sweet future mother-daughter bond.
Series 4 is a continuation of relationship red flags.
Story by Brooke. PageantLIVE Partners and Ask The Crown Exclusives. PageantLIVE is known for exclusive interviews, and we pride to have and maintains on publishing our original contents.
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